SNAKE CHARMER W***ERS



The plan was to go see the Amber Fort in the Pink City in the morning and then everyone was free to their own devices for the rest of the day!

The medieval fort lies about 11km out of the city and was built in 1592 by Maharaja Man Singh and took a few hours to explore it.

On the way there we stop to take some pix in our convoy and these snake charmers come running and put their baskets down and start playing the worst flute music ever!! The snakes were so miserable and afraid and I felt so bad for them. I tried to stroke one and could feel how abused it was.

Basically these dudes catch these cobras and then remove their fangs so they can impress tourists with their nonsense! I don’t even want to imagine how they remove their fangs! The cobras only live for 28 days after this bloody ordeal and that’s that!
I know everyone is trying to eat and make a living but this just sucks in all ways possible!!

So I messed up big time because after these dudes finish their bullshit and cruel display of entertainment, they guys says “now you pay me”!!
And like an idiot I did, I can’t believe I got sucked into supporting this ridiculousness and the group was not impressed.


So to right the wrongs of my foolish ways, I hope whoever reads this and remembers this story and stop giving these dudes money so they will look for some other kind of work instead of killing cobras slowly for quick and easy money from unsuspecting and ignorant tourists….like some idiot Indian Maasai I know!

Anyway, thought I would mention that all these forts and palaces we have visited everywhere … it’s all about love and sex and harems and baths and concubines against the backdrop of war and conflict!

Looks like back in the day, India was a hot bed!! A hot bed of sexual freedom and exploration…where the infamous Kama Sutra was born and so was a population of 1.7 billion 🙂

Secret Kama Sutra painting at the Amber Fort.

There was a temple in Bakhtapur dubbed “The Sexy Temple” where all goodness knows how many positions are etched and sculpted all around. So Laxman my guide told me if you need to expand your sexual vocab then just come chill in the temple and learn something!!

Interestingly, the India of today is quite sexually repressed and I asked a few people about this and a common answer is that when the white man discovered India, he also discovered her beautiful and naked maidens…

So the Indian men covered up their women and since then it has been a fast descent into a world not to disimilar to the Victorian times!

In Kenya it’s not that different except we don’t have a caste system so we have no honour killings but sexually speaking both countries have a long way to go in undoing the stigma and taboo we have created around this very essence of life!

Back in India, I decided Jaipur and I just were not made for each other so instead of trying to site see in the boiling heat, I accompanied Harish and his tour guide friend Hari on their day out visiting friends and scouting potential locations for other tours.

Tash, Hari and Harish

I loved it, was a bit on temple and palace overload..so it was lovely just hanging with the boys, going to their friend’s houses (with tiger heads on the walls and off the main road, but built in such a way you can’t hear the madness of Jaipur from inside!

We ate at a local restaurant, had some kulfi and also tried getting taken on a ride by a tuktuk dude – something we were warned about in Jaipur – not to trust the auto dudes, which is unlike other places in India.

Almond milk

I don’t know what it is with Jaipur and I, my best moments were on the rooftop of our Mrignayani Palace at night when Jaipur was sleeping and not being hostile! Harish’s friends said it was the heat and late monsoons that was making everyone crazy coupled with the low tourist season …

It was a bitter sweet night..sweet as I was happy to be leaving Jaipur but bitter because the group was being disbanded, I was losing my roommate who I had gotten to really enjoy and have fun with!

Our last dinner together was memorable as we were taken to a restaurant featured in the movie Marigold Hotel. The food was okay, the setting excellent and the entertainment atrocious. The Rajasthani dancers and singers were completely out of tune, not into it at all, just there to make money and the puppet dudes were the worst. They were playing drums and singing when we first walked in and singing a medley of all the English songs the knew with a chorus that was a rendition of “We all live in the (fricking) yellow submarine, Buffalo Soldier and It Don’t Matter If You’re Black Or White!”

They managed to pull a group of young tourists up to the stage and make them so a human chain round the outdoor restaurant and some Indian version of ringa-ringa-roses! Really sad state of affairs.

Finally, James finally blurted out -“They really think us foreigners are monkeys, don’t they?”

Just happy that the entertainers had other monkey tourists stupid enough to follow them around because none of is were having it! The puppeteers had to force us to watch their show and it was painful, so they went back to singing their Yellow Submarine/Buffalo Soldier song! All in all – quite painfully funny!

It was back to the hotel, last chill-out on the rooftop and bed!

Half of the group was going back to Delhi and the rest of us to Nimaj – off the beaten track – where the birdies are louder than the beeeeep beeeeeeeeepiiiiiiinnnnggggggggggg of Indian city life!!

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Indian Maasai